Just engaged recently? Its that time of the year when ever photographer and other wedding supplier is chasing your business. So how to make a decent plan and get on with it? Yeah! You’ve landed in the right place. Firstly enjoy this time (especially after it has just happened). The well wishers, engagement presents and the beginning of the planning. Eek!
Some of the best weddings are a natural fit for the bride and groom. Its planned around who they are.
Its important to understand that most weddings pass without much bother, just the smallest inconveniences. Having been to over 600 weddings I have seen quite a lot! Very few of those were as a guest maybe only 10 or so. Its more interesting going to a wedding after you’ve seen behind the scenes. I have seen some unexpected behaviour and experienced them as a supplier too. So i’m hoping this read is a help in making the day better because you are better informed!
When you work in the Wedding Industry sometimes its good to be reminded that most of the couples planning their wedding are doing it for the first time. They can read magazines or other articles from photographers and florists and planners but sometimes it doesn’t get down to the nitty gritty details which is what you were looking for. If you are not a 24 spreadsheet kind of person for an event the points below may help just a little! I will work on more detailed information and set the points out in their individual blogs later.
Everyone wants that perfect Wedding Day, where every little detail goes the way it should. However, for some, the first sign of something not being right can turn it from the dream day to a stressful day. The sheer joy of this very special occasion is undermined by being anxious and worried . Once the day has arrived there is very little can be changed, everything is already in motion.
Before anything else - even the planning begins - and before we get to helping through the wedding day, think about these things.
Firstly people or things? This is a massive question for you. Having more guests and a great meal or filling your venue with bits and pieces you saw at that wedding fayre two years previously? For some it will be a visually stunning day with different ways for the guests to be entertained? Remember, you might not see some of these things if you are trying to get round people to say hello! Is it a waste if you are not involved? I have seen birds of prey in a garden and it was pretty cool but does that mean that you will miss a few other things? There is a balance. However most of the weddings I have been to as a guest were brilliant because of people not things.
Secondly make sure the people around you and the suppliers are on your team!
Thirdly do what you want to do, not what is expected or what you have been told! Don’t be pressured into something that is not you or that you feel is expected. Make a checklist and separate it into the things that have to be done, the things you want and the things you ‘might’ like. Price things like where the ceremony and venue will take place because everything else can be worked around! Dress, Makeup, Hair, Flowers, Suits, Rings, Cars, Ceremony, Reception, Photographer (and sometimes videographer/cinematographer), Main Meal, Evening entertainment, Supper. There may be many more things you want or like but will stretch that budget? Must you have it?
Be sure that you have the wedding your way!
These are 5 areas below that I believe can make or break a great day. Just a short thought on each below which I will expand further another day.
Timings
Photography
Guests
Planners, guides and venues
Communication and Expectation
1. Timings. One of the things that gets away from couples is time on their wedding day. An extra 10 minutes for one thing or something happens that is completely unexpected and it can throw out the whole day. Sometimes the family photos can take longer than expected. Each little piece of the day needs to be estimated in order to have things running reasonably smoothly and that you complete the necessary tasks! One thing that almost every couple will say is ‘ I cant believe how quickly the day went by’.
2. Photography. And the photographer. Its good to have a discussion earlier in the decision making process with the photographer about the day as a whole and your expectations for photographs. Some couples will want to spend alot of time on the photos especially their own portraits subject to location and weather. Other couples will want minimum portraiture and a more casual approach. I try to work quickly in little intervals so that all couples can spend a little time with friends. I will always approach the couple when I see a nice patch of light or something outside that might be interesting. Its also important for a photographer to realise when its time to stop!!
3. Guests. They can make or break a wedding. Close relatives who think they should be bang in the middle of proceedings! Distant relatives who want to conduct their own photo shoot in the middle of the afternoon. Those who make it difficult for suppliers to actually get their job done and last but not least the partner of some random work colleague who is already drunk not long after arrival at the reception (I have seen a bridal party member fall off a chair on to his face with his bum in the air and drool coming out his mouth -and it wasnt even that late!) The other side of this is that some guests friends and family will help make the evening a lot more fun! The dancefloor may hot up, just as long as that drunk guy doesnt start stripping off!
Make sure the ceremony and reception venues are suitable for what you need.
4. Planners, event guides and venues. I write this and the absolute majority of people I have worked with are amazing. I love to see them excel at their jobs because I can learn from that!
How well will you ever know the guys helping you through you wedding day? From every supplier to those walking you through the reception and attending your every need. Thats what the best of us should do. We are suppliers in a service industry. That for me means trying to facilitate the couples requests on the actual day. Nothing should be too much hassle. However not everyone works that way. I have had event managers get really cross with me, when actually I clawed back some time before the meal (the couple were really late). I havent met too many planners but one or two that I have, have been nasty to other suppliers on the actual day. Finally venues should be delivering a 5 star event and service. I have been shocked at some of the big hotels , quick to charge extra for every slight change and then not deliver the level of service expected. From poor organisation to poor staff to poor facilities. My biggest surprise is a lack of good sound equipment for speeches!
5. Communication and Expectation. With regards to communication this is absolutely a two way flow. However it starts with the couples expectations for each supplier, their part in the day and how that may affect other suppliers. It limits confusion. I have turned up to a reception entirely in line with my own timeline only for a venue to say the couple where expected an hour earlier. I mentioned before that a car driver needed to get the couple dropped off quickly to the reception because he had to be at another appointment! This derails the day if no one knows about it until the day or even in the moment just before it happens. A church service where there is no natural light and has been lit with candles may result in lights or flashes being used by the photographer and videographer - which in a darkened environment will not meet the expected ambience. 137 different family photos may not be possible on any full day of photography never mind the 1 hour you get! Yes the venue is cool but you knew if it rained it was not going to be an acceptable location for family or portrait photos.
As is a frequent complaint in our house - it all boils down to communication, communication communication!
Close friends sometimes in an intimate setting has worked well in the past year.
So consider these things, include them or ignore them, whatever you can cope with. Just make sure it doesnt spoil your day.